Feldman Cubs

For the second weekend in a row, we went to the farm instead of the zoo.

Dad calls it the Cow Zoo, but I don't think that's quite right.

For one thing, there are goats!

Zoe met Goatsworth VI yesterday.

Goatsworth VI is very friendly--especially if you have corn.

Speaking of corn, I spent half an hour inside the Tire of Corn again.

My first car--which Dad says I can get when I'm 34--will have four such tires.

I can't wait to be 34!

I think.

At one point, Mom plopped Zoe down into the Tire of Corn with me. The results were ...

... about what you might expect.

Zoe is very friendly--especially if you have corn.

She even let this horse try to kiss her.

Speaking of horses ...

I RODE PONIES!

I am a natural.

I wonder what I'd have to say to get Dad to get me a pony.

Your suggestions are welcome!

I took a break from my newfound equestrianism to build a functioning replica of the Empire State Building.

Farms are great because they have industrial irrigation systems.

This one was a turtle. It kept spraying me no matter what I did!

Time for drastic maneuvers.

GAH!

STILL SPRAYING ME!

I know when to quit. I'll be back, turtle!

This lady watched the whole episode and didn't even lift a wing to help.

I took a break to do some foundation work in the sandbox ...

... and wound up covered in sand.

Zoe saw the whole thing. (She also didn't lift a wing to help.)

(Zoe also saw a tornado forming in this exhibit at the National Center for Atmospheric Research. Dad didn't have a better way to insert this photo anywhere.)

Anyway, mom and Dad found another Industrial Turtle and tried use it to clean me off ...

... but eventually they had to bring in the heavy artillery.

Dad says this is actually way nicer than the locker room at the gym.

I'm pretty sure the locker room has a floor, Dad.

Hey look! Mostly clean!

Spaghetti Night was the perfect opportunity to work on my new skill: putting my food between my toes. Dad says I eat like a pig, but I've never seen a pig with this kind of fine-motor coordination.

I've also never seen a pig do this:

SLURP!

Are you following me, camera guy?

Ba ha ha ha ha!

Dad says this was nice and all, but he'll be really impressed when I do it at Gramercy Tavern.

In the meantime, I'm not allowed to eat anything but supermarket sushi while strapped into a cart. The kitchen has never been cleaner!

We went to NYC for a whole week. I got to go into the ocean!

Zoe came along too, but she did not get to go into the ocean.

Kim and Emma walked me to the beach on the first day.

After that, I pretty much did what I felt like doing.

Zia Mary helped me get accustomed to the Atlantic--or, as Dad calls it, the Sewage Basin to the Right.

This is Shirley and Lulu--or, rather, Lulu and Shirley.

And here's Ethan and Jenn in what would be a touching photo if he were not depositing toys into her shirt.

My friend Sydney brought her dad to the beach ...

... and she brought her brother Adam too.

Lulu is teaching Emma her best techniques for avoiding medical waste.

Emma wasn't too worried about it.

OCEAN!

After a long day of UV exposure, nothing hits the spot like a two-fork bowl of spaghettini.

You can really taste the -ini!

Aunt Ellen makes this weird gesture when she's encouraging me to do silly things, like whip up a delicious Spaghettini Soup Sundae.

This is Aunt Ellen's "That's what I'm talking about" gesture, but I have to admit I had no idea what she was talking about.

Good times.

For reasons I don't completely understand, people kept giving me stuff while I was in New York. This is a stamp kit that I like to stack. I'll stack just about anything. Try me.

Aunt Ellen took a break from encouraging Disturbing Nutrition to pose with Haley.

The best dessert after a two-fork meal is a two-spoon course of ice cream.

This is me with Grandpa Les. Dad says "Tres Primos" is Norwegian for "The canpake lens continues to impress."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Grandma Marianne chilled out with Baby Zoe.

Then Grandpa Ira squeezed her walrus cheeks.

I've seen that all before, so I strode purposefully to the ocean ...

... and made sure the tides were still working.

Yep. All is well on Riley Potamus's watch.

We met up with Grandpa Joel to see the strangest thing.

In Queens, they have cell phones _attached to the walls_ and the phones take "quarters."

Baby Zoe thinks that's hysterical.

Judy and Becky seemed to like her a little bit.

I got this really cool cookie-baking set. Over on the right, there's a rare Dad-hands sighting.

Since _everybody_ loves the great taste of black licorice, I'm adding licorice scotty dogs to some of these cookies.

The next day, we went to Grandma Annette's apartment in Manhattan.

We had authentic New York ice cream ...

... and saw authentic New York garbage. (Dad checked for squirming rats. The results were inconclusive. Those squirms could have been anything.)

In New York, they put water parks right in the middle of everything.

This guy was taking a shower on the way to work.

Elephant!

ELEPHANT!

Dad says there's no comfort to be found at the "COMFORT STATION," so don't even look.

What could possibly go wrong?

Yep, this is how they roll in NYC.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch again with Grandma Annette ...

... Zoe was doing her thing.

Uncle Eric (who made me a really cool red panda puzzle with his robot machine) took me outside for some bubbles.

Dad says this is a "Brooklyn porta-potty." It's nice that it seems to be open all day, but it doesn't look that portable to me.

On my last trip to the beach, I traded my pants for a kite and a stick.

Zoe seemed surprised by that, but I have plenty of pants. Hey Zoe, what do you think about coming back to NYC for another visit one day?

Zoe says that would be exxcellllent.

I guess security at these places is pretty lightweight. Mom and Dad were able to get me into a real sushi restaurant!

Do you think the waitstaff had any idea what they were in for?

I LOVE SUSHI!

We got some kind of teriyaki dish too.

Actually, mom ordered herself the teriyaki, and she got me some noodles off the kids' menu, but I made her switch with me.

I know what I'm doing in these places. We don't need to get all pedestrian on my account.

For example, these are chopsticks, mmkay?

Mine came with this nifty rubberband up top.

I don't need it there, but it's nice that they wanted to be helpful.

This is an example of what chopsticks are not meant to do.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how I roll.

See?

Sometimes you do just have to toss back a noodle or two with the tools you were born with.

Mom tried to pass off the kids' menu noodles to Zoe, but Zoe knew better.

Mom and dad introduced me to "caterpillar rolls" today.

No caterpillars were harmed in the making of this maki.

Eh? Did you see what I did there? Thank you. I'll be here all week. Tip your server well. I know Mom and Dad sure did.

I'm often asked what a vegan toddler in Boulder eats.

So I thought I'd give you a tour of one of my favorite lunches, so you could see that we're not so different after all.

Today we're having avocado sushi, soy macaroni and cheese, and pickles. (I already ate the avocado.)

Om nom nom nom!

Dad said this wasn't sufficiently nutritious, so we added breakfast cereal. Here's the closeup. You'll note there's ketchup too. There's a perfectly good explanation for that.

Mom says that because I'm a vegan toddler, I don't put cow milk on my cereal. It would anger the god of vegan food.

Instead of using cow milk, vegans dip their cereal in ketchup, which is totally vegan--so it makes perfect sense.

Let's see about this.

Hmm ...

Yep--delicious!