Feldman Cubs

For the second weekend in a row, we went to the farm instead of the zoo.

Dad calls it the Cow Zoo, but I don't think that's quite right.

For one thing, there are goats!

Zoe met Goatsworth VI yesterday.

Goatsworth VI is very friendly--especially if you have corn.

Speaking of corn, I spent half an hour inside the Tire of Corn again.

My first car--which Dad says I can get when I'm 34--will have four such tires.

I can't wait to be 34!

I think.

At one point, Mom plopped Zoe down into the Tire of Corn with me. The results were ...

... about what you might expect.

Zoe is very friendly--especially if you have corn.

She even let this horse try to kiss her.

Speaking of horses ...

I RODE PONIES!

I am a natural.

I wonder what I'd have to say to get Dad to get me a pony.

Your suggestions are welcome!

I took a break from my newfound equestrianism to build a functioning replica of the Empire State Building.

Farms are great because they have industrial irrigation systems.

This one was a turtle. It kept spraying me no matter what I did!

Time for drastic maneuvers.

GAH!

STILL SPRAYING ME!

I know when to quit. I'll be back, turtle!

This lady watched the whole episode and didn't even lift a wing to help.

I took a break to do some foundation work in the sandbox ...

... and wound up covered in sand.

Zoe saw the whole thing. (She also didn't lift a wing to help.)

(Zoe also saw a tornado forming in this exhibit at the National Center for Atmospheric Research. Dad didn't have a better way to insert this photo anywhere.)

Anyway, mom and Dad found another Industrial Turtle and tried use it to clean me off ...

... but eventually they had to bring in the heavy artillery.

Dad says this is actually way nicer than the locker room at the gym.

I'm pretty sure the locker room has a floor, Dad.

Hey look! Mostly clean!

Spaghetti Night was the perfect opportunity to work on my new skill: putting my food between my toes. Dad says I eat like a pig, but I've never seen a pig with this kind of fine-motor coordination.

I've also never seen a pig do this:

SLURP!

Are you following me, camera guy?

Ba ha ha ha ha!

Dad says this was nice and all, but he'll be really impressed when I do it at Gramercy Tavern.

In the meantime, I'm not allowed to eat anything but supermarket sushi while strapped into a cart. The kitchen has never been cleaner!

This is the Worm of Measurement.

He's not an "inchworm" because he has both inches and centimeters on his tummy, see.

See? (According to the Worm of Measurement, I am 24 inches tall and I weigh 13 pounds, 10 ounces. I have no idea how the Worm knows my weight.)

The Worm of Measurement used to belong to Riley. Dad says that over the course of a year, Riley replaced every last bit of his stuffing with her own saliva.

Ba ha ha ha ha!

Saliva stuffing!

If I really understood what that meant, I probably wouldn't be holding the Worm of Measurement at all, let alone chewing on him!

But I don't understand what that means, so ...

Om nom nom nom!

This is my kid sister, Zoe.

And this is a flower.

Both of them were at the Denver Zoo yesterday.

So was I. We all went there for Father's Day.

Here. We were right here. This is part of the zoo.

I chatted with some animals.

I also learned about the standing broad jump.

The horse is quite good at it--even better than the ostrich.

Dad thinks it's cute that I was sitting like this.

That guy thinks everything I do is cute.

This is a lorikeet.

I fed her. They eat nectar, lorikeets do. They come from Australia, which is some kind of advanced utopia where college is free and cartoon animals are real.

As it turns out, I have Dad's unusual ability to communicate with animals.

Yeah, that's right.

All done, birdie?

She polished that thing off!

This is how a toucan eats grapes. I'm just saying.

Hello!

We went to the Boulder Creek Fest the other day. The best part by far was the CHOO CHOO TRAIN.

Dad took these photos with his "pancake lens."

I have no idea what that means, but it sounds delicious. Of course, I would refer to it as a "canpake lens."

Speaking of delicious, the Creek Fest was my first--and probably last--opportunity to get a pork chop on a stick.

I know, right?

Lucky for me, this is Boulder, so they were also handing out carrots.

Baby Zoe had to think long and hard about which one she would prefer.