There is no need to look at me because, see, I can just talk to you on the phone.
This is Aspen: Warrior Princess. She is looking at you.
But now she’s sleepy. Shhhh!
Dad took her photo with an all-manual vintage Nikon lens and then ran it through Photoshop CS4 on a dual-GPU MacBook Pro.
The incongruity is staggering.
This is a Vintage Glass Incongruity photo of my big sis …
… and one more of Aspen.
Big sis was teaching me how to use her* iPhone 3Gs yesterday.
*Not actually hers, but dad lets her use it all the time.
In this photo, she is probably emailing the head legal counsel of Switzerland to tell him “jjjggggffllkggg.”*
*This really happened. Sorry, Switzerland!
Because I’m the little sis, I get only a pre-3G iPhone of my own.
This is me calling Child Services to report the gross act of negligence.
“Hello, Child Services? I would like to report that I have only a pathetic, weak, first-generation iPhone.”
“Yes, it’s true that I’m only 1 year old …”
“… but I’m almost 2!”
“Yes. I can hold.”
This hold music is as weak as my smartphone.
These people obviously do not realize that I inherited my patience and temper from Beach Grandpa.*
*Very possibly true. Do not anger Zoe.
It can’t help that I don’t know which end of the phone is which.
Eventually, I got tired and let big sis use my head as an ottoman.
Big sis is pretty awesome.
She can draw stuff that looks like stuff.
She can even turn any circle into a smiley person-face.
She’s super good with a snow shovel.
And she can even pet a dog without stepping on any of the four paws.
My snow-removal skills are not quite there yet. Here–hold my mitten–time to get busy.
