The neighbor kids were playing baseball in the street, so I decided to join them. I always wear my helmet and bring a dog to look after me when I engage in street sports.
Zoe thought it was a little strange.
I never wear a helmet when feeding lorikeets ...
... or when testing my standing broad jump. SALMON BY 2012 OR BUST!
Because I didn't wear my helmet when jumping--or maybe because I still can't jump as far as a salmon--dad put me to work expanding highway 52 to three lanes.
I like it so much, I don't think of it as forced labor.
Time for the Zoe Violet Feldman pop quiz.
What do goats eat on the farm?
Time for the Zoe Violet Feldman hint.
That's right!
Corn!
Yes, you've seen this one before. Dad says it's too cute to show only once.
For the second weekend in a row, we went to the farm instead of the zoo.
Dad calls it the Cow Zoo, but I don't think that's quite right.
For one thing, there are goats!
Zoe met Goatsworth VI yesterday.
Goatsworth VI is very friendly--especially if you have corn.
Speaking of corn, I spent half an hour inside the Tire of Corn again.
My first car--which Dad says I can get when I'm 34--will have four such tires.
I can't wait to be 34!
I think.
At one point, Mom plopped Zoe down into the Tire of Corn with me. The results were ...
... about what you might expect.
Zoe is very friendly--especially if you have corn.
She even let this horse try to kiss her.
Speaking of horses ...
I RODE PONIES!
I am a natural.
I wonder what I'd have to say to get Dad to get me a pony.
Your suggestions are welcome!
I took a break from my newfound equestrianism to build a functioning replica of the Empire State Building.
Farms are great because they have industrial irrigation systems.
This one was a turtle. It kept spraying me no matter what I did!
Time for drastic maneuvers.
GAH!
STILL SPRAYING ME!
I know when to quit. I'll be back, turtle!
This lady watched the whole episode and didn't even lift a wing to help.
I took a break to do some foundation work in the sandbox ...
... and wound up covered in sand.
Zoe saw the whole thing. (She also didn't lift a wing to help.)
(Zoe also saw a tornado forming in this exhibit at the National Center for Atmospheric Research. Dad didn't have a better way to insert this photo anywhere.)
Anyway, mom and Dad found another Industrial Turtle and tried use it to clean me off ...
... but eventually they had to bring in the heavy artillery.
Dad says this is actually way nicer than the locker room at the gym.
I'm pretty sure the locker room has a floor, Dad.
Hey look! Mostly clean!
EDITOR’S NOTE: DO NOT CONTINUE READING THIS INSTALLMENT OF FELDMANCUBS IF YOU HAVE “A THING” ABOUT WATCHING PEOPLE EAT WITH THEIR FEET. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Spaghetti Night was the perfect opportunity to work on my new skill: putting my food between my toes. Dad says I eat like a pig, but I've never seen a pig with this kind of fine-motor coordination.
I've also never seen a pig do this:
SLURP!
Are you following me, camera guy?
Ba ha ha ha ha!
Dad says this was nice and all, but he'll be really impressed when I do it at Gramercy Tavern.
In the meantime, I'm not allowed to eat anything but supermarket sushi while strapped into a cart. The kitchen has never been cleaner!
Dad's friend Haley was here today, so she picked up his camera and favorite lens and showed him how it's really done.
In return, I showed her how to play "feed sticks to the fish in the lake."
I also showed her how to play with dandelions.
I keep missing my gymnastics classes, so we got in a little practice.
I think Dad is fond of me.
Some kid left behind all this high-end construction equipment, so I spent a little time with it. You can build anything with a good set of tools.
Dad and I went over our plans to build a five-lane suspended highway in the sandbox.
He just kept smiling even when I told him the sandbox isn't zoned for a commercial freeway.
Yep. He's definitely fond of me.
Sometimes if he tickles me, I tickle him back.
TUNNEL!
TUNNNNNNNEL!.
It was great to see someone with a clue finally using dad's camera. I hope Haley comes back whenever we need real photos taken. Right, Dad?
I guess there are some things you just can't joke about.